Arabian Adventure - Day Three

I had an "early" healthy brekkie this morning (Plain Yoghurt and Grapefruit)  - managed to get out and back before the cleaner came!! Had a wonder around the resort as I was too early for the Spa - what bimbo decided wondering around without glasses on was a good idea???? Nearly fell down a marble staircase in the Lobby as I had failed to see the first step!!!

Managed, only just, to make it to the Spa in one piece. After a short wait I was introduced to my Therapist Saffa and taken through to the ladies locker room to strip down to my bikini. Happily the room lacks mirrors. I was then deposited into the Steam room. I was alone in a great big blue mosaic tiled room, sat on a stone bench along the back wall, however, it eventually became so steamy in there and with my poor eyesight a herd of Elephants could  have joined me and I wouldn't have noticed!! Five minutes of steaming and I was collected and deposited into the shower before being taken to the Sauna. Having gently steamed, I was then poached some more before another quick shower.

Saffa then took me back to the steam room and I was instructed to lie down on the central a tone slab. I felt a little like Aslan being laid down on the Stone table but proceeded to be loofahed and buffed instead tied up, shawn and stabbed!!! It's quite bizarre to be scrubbed by someone else, including your armpits.

Then followed the bubble bath without the water. The therapist dipped a slim pillowcase in soapy water spun it to fill it with air and then squeezed bubbles out of it, to wash and massage me with. Sharpe then covered me in bubbles and left me to soften up for five minutes with the steam back on. It reminded me of spa trip with my cousin Emma a few years ago but this time a complete stranger lathered me up and I had to wear a bikini rather than those gorgeous paper knickers you get in British Spas!! Fully softened I was Walked back to the shower to wash off the bubbles - I couldn't see past the bubbles on my torso to find my flip flops and must have looked like the marshmallow monster at end of ghostbusters!!!

Next I was lead to a room to have "salt" rubbed in, it smelt like hot buttered toast with a coconut topping. A refreshingly cool mud mask was painted (literally with what felt like a pastry brush!!) on my face. Then just when I couldn't have felt more salted and basted than a loin of pork, I was wrapped in bacofoil (plastic version) and cocooned in a warm towel to stew in my own juices!!!

After 10 mins of marinating, I was released from my glad wrap for yet another shower, I realised then the white salty stuff was only for my hands and feet and the rest of me was covered in cocoa bean shells, not the best mix with a brown and cream bikini which is now somewhat more, brown and brown!! After showering off the residue from my skin and my bikini bottoms we moved to another room for my sports massage. 45mins of stretching and pummelling followed, I thought my shoulders would dislocate at one point but the left one "popped" nicely! The rest of my body was then slapped into submission.

A short but very relaxing Indian head and face massage later and I was virtually comatosed!! A glass of ice cold water and a green tea later and now I'm ready to face the world ..... Well the sun lounger and pool at any rate!!! I now have Thai massage treatments booked for next three days so no one is getting Chrimble pressies this year as I'm bankrupt!!!

It's been an overcast but warm day today, so u spent the rest of the afternoon chilling out by the pool. Despite lathering myself in suntan lotion I can still smell the faint whiff of buttered toast and it's making me hungry. I may have to eat a more substantial dinner this evening or succumb to today delicacies left on my table, having polished off the cheese and biscuits and some of the fruit that was waiting for me on arrival - strangely though the bananas remain untouched and indeed may yet end up outside somewhere for the ants and lizards!!

Arabian Adventures -Day Two

So why is it SO had to get up in the mornings when you're on holiday? Have had to send the cleaner away whilst I try to get my lard arse into gear, blues skies are all I see from the window so time to shower and brave the breakfast buffet me thinks. 

Very decadent day spent lounging around by the pool, managed to read an entire book in one sitting!!! Have had a wonder around and booked myself in for some hard core massage tomorrow - hopefully someone might finally get rid of that massive Buntline Hitch in my left shoulder!!! Even had a quick trip on the little fununcular rail that lazy people to to and for the beach - you'll be impressed to know that I caught one down to the beach but walked all the way back up the steps!!!

Returned to my room to find my bed has been beautifully decorated, the towel swan sure beats the real one that chased me half way down Exeter canal last year!! Am now trying to sort out some printing as bimbo me hasn't got a hard copy of her itinery and I can't get into Sharm airport without one apparently - am sure they have a need for resort GPs here but I might find it a bit dull, although I could probably live with the guy in the resort shop who has offered to send Rog 5 camels as payment for me - I won't tell Roger as he'd probably take him up on the offer - camels are far less argumentative and no doubt snore less!!!

As I'm still waiting to see if anyone can print out my itinery it strikes me that I am an extraordinarily daft bird, emailing your itinery to someone is probably not the safest thing in the world to do - suspect there is an online course for it that I have failed to complete in the e learning for health repertoire!!! Oh well too late now really, can see anyone trying to catch the flight pretending to be me, although they do have a photocopy of my passport too........... On well it's warm here at any rate so at least I wouldn't freeze to death sleeping on the beaches!!! Better go check out if they've managed to print the stuff for me and then think about dinner and perhaps a movie by the pool???

Arabian Adventures

Day One - Midnight at the Oasis

It was quite a simple journey for me this morning for a change, hopped on the train in Shalford, amused myself listening to the bull being spun by the various youths of Reigate Grammer, mainly about how long it would rake to get to various places travelling at the speed of light - apparently if the sun explodes we won't know for 8 seconds (I think someone needs to reach someone science and maths to the boys at RGS!!). Quick change at Redhill where a nice  chap offered to carry my suitcase, I politely declined as it's one of the lightest suitcases I've ever packed - only 13kg JoLt family a genuine record for me - and hopped into the Gatwick train and had a breakfast treat of Eggs Benedict (still no where near the EB served in Melbourne!!) and then  amused myself looking at the shops until boarding time!

Got myself nicely through the boarding queue when the mobile rang seconds before handing if to the ticket lady - am super impressed as I had no paper boarding card and just used an app on the old iPhone - very clever technology. However it's not possible to answer a call and use your mobile as a ticket simultaneously so I spoke to him indoors and joined the back of the boarding queue nice more!!

Well after an unexciting 5 hour flight I've arrived safe and sound in Sharm El Sheikh. Easy jog planes look smarter but food still costs an arm and a leg and lack of entertainment is tedious, nearly finished my book by the time we touched down, interspersed with pulling faces at the three year old in the row in front (who was very well behaved bless him). Met at the airport and driven to this lovely resort and booked in at  reception by a chap from Neasden of all places!!! Everyone is very friendly and keeps welcoming me back to Sharm - only I've never been here before!!! Was nice that the General Manager of the hotel came to welcome me to the hotel as well. I scored a lovely huge room all to myself and have views out towards the sea -awesome!!!

Big bummer there is only wired internet in the bedrooms so any stuff I need to do on line has to be done sat in the lobby which is bit noisy - should have bought my laptop -it is the one problem with the iPad I haven't found a solution to yet.

Had dinner and caused much confusion by being seated in the all inclusive part of the restaurant bug no having the all important wrist band. I thought the waiters head might explode when I ordered a beer and he gad to double check with me three times that I was ok paying for it - I obviously look destitute!!!

Am nod unpacked and thinking about a quick skype session with the boy back home before heading off to bed. Tomorrow I get to see the resort in daylight and have an explore. I discovered the reason for the light suitcase too - I have forgotten yo pack anything useful!!! No camera - the phone will have to suffice, no insect repellant and the mossies have already had a quick nibble and no woolly hat but perhaps I might get away with the last one..............

Night night folks xx

Day Thirteen Tired, Travelling and Tuning Out

Well with less than 4 hours sleep I managed to wake up with the alarm, haul my butt out of bed into the shower and complete my packing - still had to sit on my suitcase despite taking out my coat!!!

Managed to leave and get down to the local subway and except that the journey seemed to last an eternity there were no major problems!! Got to the airport easily on the Airtrain and through security relatively quickly, apart from setting off the scanners with the pattern on my T shirt all was cool.

I had a sinking feeling when I got to the gate, there were a least 6 pushchairs and several more toddlers and under 7s, the joys of returning home just before Christmas. We were 30 minutes late taking off and the atmosphere wasn't improved much my the constant (and I mean CONSTANT screaming of the child 3 rows in font of me). To top it off my TV screen is dodgy and since I put it on pause to go to the toilet it no longer plays more than a 5 second clip at a time- deep joy.

Managed to get the TV re-booted, it helped a little!!! Rest of flight went okay and managed to get back to the UK in one piece.

See you all soon and Merry Christmas xx

Day Twelve Traipsing and Trying around Times Square

An eventful day , again didn't wake until after 8am!! Looked out of the window and it was grey, raining and windy. it fact the building must have been swaying because the light certainly was!! Then checked in online for tomorrow's flight home and spent ages trying to work out how to print out my boarding pass!! Being clever I'd downloaded the App for the printing site but couldn't find the hotel in the list of places to print so I went down to the Business Centre and discovered that they are using a different website than advertised - that's 10 mins of my life I'm not getting back!!!

Boarding Pass printed and dropped off back at my room it was time to hit the streets. I unwittingly jumped on an express train so sailed straight past my stop, I rapidly adapted my plans to start North and work South - rather than the original contrary plan!!

So I hopped off at 72nd street and headed into Central Park, near the Dakota Building (John Lennon's old residence) and walked by Strawberry Fields. I walked slowly through the park but couldn't find any Ice-skating!!

Leaving the Park behind with not a Friends character spotted I headed past several MaccyD's on my way to pick up my theatre tickets for tonight. Didn't stop in any of them!!! Hope you're all proud of me!!!

I picked up my Theatre tickets for tonight from the Box Office and headed for a mosey down to Times Square. Loud and crowded and bursting with life as always!!

I noticed The Bread Bakery Company and stopped there for a lunch of pizza slice and diet Coke. Was thin crust and quite yummy!!!

After lunch which was compact but bijoux I hopped into the Hale and Hearty Soup Store and in order to Spread some warmth at Christmas I bought some tomato, basil and rice soup and a couple of chocolate chip cookies for the homeless man sat outside.

Next I managed to walk around Macy's without falling A over T and Umm and Ahhed about buying another carry on bag. You'll be glad to know there was more Umming than Ahhing so no new luggage today!! I only have 5 suitcases of varying sizes and several duffle bags......

Walked on down past the iconic Flatiron building onto Madison gardens then Union square Christmas markets and purchased the pressies that I saw yesterday -finally succumbed!!

Next stop the Hollister store - I really am getting old, it was like a badly lit night club - too dark, bad music played too loud and then lots of interconnecting rooms with no obvious direction. Had to walk up 2 flights of stairs just to pay!!

Hopped into Bloomingdales on my way past and got my little brown bag wrapped around some more sneaky chrimble pressies!!

Forgot to stop and see the Rockafellor centre and the skating and can't remember where the Christmas tree is but Heigh Ho (or should I say Ho Ho Ho!!!).

Stopped off back at the hotel for a quick shower and change (into a nice girl as my Mum would say!).

Made reservations for Dinner at The View which is a revolving restaurant at the Marriott Marquis.

After a marvellous dinner Gnocchi with chipotle braised ribs, filet mignon and a NY cheesecake I headed downstairs to the Marquis Theatre to see Ricky Martin in Evita (playing Che of course - could he ever complete with sublime Mr David Essex or the not too bad for an actor that can't sing, Señor Banderas???). Only while smuggly thinking I'd arrive 40 mins early and could have a drink, I suddenly realised my bright plan to change my day sack for my handbag was genius except for the part where the theatre ticket was still in the back of my day sack!!!

What followed was a bit like the opening scene of 4 Weddings, except no gorgeous Mr Grant and (thank God) no peach bridesmaids dress with large bow accompaniment!!

After much muttering and swearing under my breath (mainly 4 letters of the F variety) there followed a mad taxi dash, 66 blocks later I got to my Hotel in 15 minutes, paid the driver and begged him to wait on a double yellow equivalent while I ran up stairs (not literally as its 49 floors for goodness sake!!!), grabbed the offending tickets and grabbed the cab again back from whence I'd come. I arrived about 5 mins late but then couldn't actually find the damned theatre!! I knew where the box office was but hadn't looked for the theatre earlier - after running back and forth I went back into the Hotel and asked - it was on the 3rd floor!! I got to my seat stepping on only 2 other people's toes and had only missed the first 2 songs!!! Bloody miraculous!!!!

Sadly the rest of the first half was slightly marred by firstly missing my favourite song (Oh What a Circus) and secondly by the over full bladder caused by a litre of fizzy water and half a bottle of Sav Blanc!!!! Needless to say after a visit to the restroom the second half went almost without event (I did get told off for taking a photo on my phone during Don't Cry for Me Argentina!!!). Waste of a good telling off coz it's a rubbish photo!!!

Performance over and I have to say Ricky wasn't half bad, undecided about the Argentinian playing Evita, she sounded a little shrill (and she speaks so highly of me..... Yeah I know, pot, kettle, black!!).

Metro ride back was great didn't get lost once - maybe with 9 hours left in New York I've finally got the hang of it!!! Am now having a cheeky cocktail before some late night packing. Have to leave at 5am so will actually have to set an alarm for the first time in 2 weeks!!!

PS it was a Caramel Appletini in case you were wondering - Grey Goose vodka, apple cider and lemon juice with a dash of caramel - absopositively Dee-Lish!!!


So it's good night from me and....... Well just me really xx

Day Eleven No Sense of Direction Around New York

Well, I didn't wake up til 8:30am - that's a turn up for the books!!! Got up and out and headed towards the World Trade Centre, as was. I went back in the late 1990's and stood up on the observation deck and thought I should go back and check out "ground zero". I signed up for the walking tour and had a mooch around the Tribute museum there for half an hour. It's quite emotional and touching even for a cold hearted English girl like me!!

Then I lined up outside for the tour, at this point I was starting to wish I'd put my coat on this morning when I left the hotel, but put on my scarf, hat and gloves and did up my hoodie zip to keep out the biting chill of the Downtown wind. The tours are run from the Tribute Centre which was started up to support the families and survivors. Each tour is guided by two people who have a special connection to 9/11, either a family member, WTC worker, survivor, local resident. Each tells you about the history and future of the site and also shares their stories. It's very touching and must be quite cathartic for them. My guides today were JeanMarie whose brother worked on the 101st floor of the North Tower which was hit first and Joe who worked for Morgan Stanley on the 72nd Floor of the South Tower and also was there during the 1993 bombing of the South Tower.

Quite an emotional morning and freezing cold to boot!!! I left Downtown and headed towards Uptown Manhattan I took the Subway to Union Station and wondered along looking at market stalls there, probably fortunately I had very little cash in my wallet at this point!!!! I carried on and wondered up Broadway towards 5th Avenue and looked in the windows of all the really expensive shops, no chance of going inside as they can spot a poor chick at 20 paces!!!

Now one of the main shop windows to look at out here is Macy's - it's a bit like Harrods at Christmas. While merrily looking at the windows and trying to dodge other foot traffic and BANG!! I stacked it right outside Macy's and fell on all fours in the road!! Stunningly athletic I'm not and this is about the third time I've done this although before it was when I was running! No major injuries fortunately mainly bruised ego and knees!!!

Stopped at Maccas had a crappy late lunch but mainly went in for the Internet access, to catch up on emails and such like!! Set up a Skype date with my lovely man and so headed back to the hotel. Now this should have been easy but as always I had a confusing subway ride back and managed to get lost coming out to the hotel AGAIN!!

Nice Skype and some Internet surfing for tomorrow's fun packed schedule and I a managed to book a treat for tomorrow night!! Last day in NYC tomorrow so have to make it count! So In Room Dinner and TV and an early night for me!!!

Night night xxx

Day Ten Airplanes and Arias

Today was a bit of a mental travelling day, I overnighted from Hawaii to LA and then milled around for an hour at LAX looking for some breakfast, the queues were lengthy and the choice limited. In the end I opted for a "breakfast muffin" from. Pizza place and a large coffee. Not bad and at least kept my ribs apart.

Realised I've travelled further today than I have to travel to get back to the UK!!! Finally got to JFK at 3:30pm and decided to brave the Subway. Within an hour I was strolls into the hotel in Downtown Manhattan!!! Quick shower and change and straight out the door back onto the Subway again, this time looking a little more dolled up!!!

I had hoped to get Uptown with time to spare to get some food (the Breakfast Muffin being a mighty long time ago!). Unfortunately, I took too long putting my slap on so no time for food, just headed straight for the Lincoln Centre and Aida at The Met.

Had time for a quick glass of pink bubbly stuff before taking my seat in a box and three hours of warbling and wailing!! Actually it was fab! Shared my box with a family of three and a grandmother and her slightly precocious 10 year old grandson! Actually he did pretty well, but fell asleep and was snoring gently through Act IV!!

I high tailed it back to the Subway and managed to avoid some of the crazies on the station - one woman repeatedly drawing in the air with her hand and touching the platform. Hop on the train and was entertained by. Homeless guy with a drum and quite an imaginative rap, gave him my last two dollars and jumped off within one block of the hotel. Walked round and round and took ages to find the hotel. Finally lopped down on the bed ready to order room service because that Muffin was a mighty long time ago.......... Room service finished five minutes ago............ Aghhhhhh!!!!!!!

So, it happens I'm writing to you drinking a Corona and washing down my dinner - a packet of Maltesers. Boy do I feel sick now!!!! Tomorrow is another day and it's past the witching hour so I better get some sleep!!!

Night happy people xx